They come first. It can help you be more objective, rather than emotional, just for a moment. The old feeble person becomes the center of the caregivers life and they no longer be able to function as their own individual, but whose sole function is to keep the loved one fed, cleaned, toileted and other back breaking duties. However, this can lead to some serious issues between children and parents if they are quite different. Give it direct, confident and matter of factly, then leave it at that, she will come at you with a bunch of BS but it doesn't matter from there. Back in the day, I wrote a letter to the dean of my school complaining about regulating how long boys' hair was allowed to be. they will start to be comfortable. She wants to fire the helper. However, you do feel bad because you can see the sincerity in their eyes.. The key is to remain calm. It was during my metalhead phase. This time it is your mom but the next time it could be your friend, spouse or child and they may not be as understanding as your mother is. WebYelling is not respectful, and if you yell at me, I will stop conversing with you; if you continue, I will excuse myself and leave. Its just not a fit, do you have any solutions or can you recommend someone else.. Thanks, everyone, for sharing your comments and concerns. Being yelled at is never a pleasant experience. Had to postpone remodeling when reality began to severely crumble after the holidays. I am so tired. At Svalinn, a breeding and training company located on a sprawling ranch in Montana, founder Kim Green revealed that only four years ago, she was charging A vacation is good for everyone. Im beginning to think neither of us are ever going to live there. Shes on lowdose antipsychotics at night which mostly get her to sleep through the night. Help me.I know I will regret it. Today she kept nagging and nagging and nagging me about it. I was going to suggest a urine infection as my mother did have similar problems to yours, kidney, heart etc. WebMany feelings come up when you are caring for someone day in and day out. If you do, time to change to a facility, sell the house, and take a good portion for yourself. The article also pointed out how individuals can make these situations better by explaining how they should talk to their mothers about any matter bothering them or causing rifts between them. As the prime caregiver and responsible for us both in our retirement, it is depressing to come this far in life and then have health issues. Instead of resolving the root cause we ignore it and take out the anger or frustration on others. I wasnt with them, I was alone, isolated. We all have our family storys but, anybody out there with a similar one? Notes and white boards are great things to wake up, I always leave a positive message with love to my mother and she attitude is always better. The other way? Afterall, she is your mother and you need to give her a break! Perhaps it's not very stoic advice, but I think stoicism doesn't mean you let people the people you have to live with walk through life without ever hearing criticism from you. He has always expected me to do so much in our marriage. You might make a lot of different choices in your life that are aligned with your happiness and peace as well as the goals you had always wanted to achieve. I did not strike out, but I was very assertive, yelling that the helper will NOT be fired. To possibly extend their lives why not! He has bipolar which has been under control for a very long time but sometimes it is like he is having Manic episode. We have been caring for him for the last 9 years. The one thing they hate losing is their independence, but feeling like a burden is the thing they hate more. n. 1. a. If your mother is a narcissist she actually enjoys making you angry, she is manipulating you by pushing your buttons. For the past 11 years, my 91 year old mother has been living with us (me, husband and teenage daughter). People run into a fight or run away, often running away. Constantly talks and acts as if my dad aint worth for nothing when hes provided us and her with a big home and many luxuries. Youll be fine. Dear D Phelps. I actually did it in front of my friends and her friends and asked her if she thinks shes Rosanne Fucking Barr?. They are not capable of seeing the big picture, that is why we are there, and we make tough choicesdont ever beat yourself up for it, walk away from an argument. They are our mothers and we expect them to absorb all our pain, tantrums and shouting episodes because they understand us. a familiar title or term of address for any elderly man. So as long as you are making a good account of yourself, you have nothing to worry about. A family caregiver is to be helped out by other members of the family not to Carry The Burden. Dad just yelled at me to go back to my room. I felt a mixture of regret, anxiety, blankness, pride, relief somehow all at the same time. Nobody will tell me anything. That includes anything they might be taking, not just prescription drugs.. 6. Any advice?? Reasons Why You Might Hate Your Mother Coping Strategies Many people have yelled I hate you at their mom, often when theyre adolescents and are mad about not getting their way. My mom has Dementia, macular, add cancer, copd chf, a fib, diabetes, kidney disease, and severe stenosis and back pain and depression. It is important to bring these differences to the table. Don't think we should tell someone they are being abusive if they raise their voice at home to parent, this is a setup for a guilt trip big time, i You may actually be disappointed that she does not even understand what your happiness means. I just need a few things to get you going. I have had a hell of a time coming to terms with his mind state. Speak up, stoically and confidently, know yourself, understand your virtue and understand that you are only in control of yourself. Web8 longer-term ways to handle screaming and crying in dementia. So, I resorted to the only thing left: yelling like a boomer. I on the other hand have no patience. If the differences cannot be resolved it is better to be aware of them so both parties can be aware of and prepared to tackle whatever comes their way. It is important to recognize that this is not a healthy behaviour. It is possible your mom does not realize you are growing up and you now need more space to yourself. I am suggesting that you take off a couple of weeks or even a month for the day to day. I'm not saying this will work or is a "great" strategy but it works for me with my family and we are also part of the Latin American culture. But the other night, in the throws of an emotional stand off with my 3 year old, all my gentle parenting techniques I'd so diligently added to my toolbox failed. My throat hurts, probably get a sore throat tomorrow. You cant blame her because she has been in your business your entire life and now that you dont need her you just cant push her aside just like that! One of you may yell or say something truly awful out of frustration, but its an unusual occurrence and you work through it together. It was always,"My way or the highway!" Unfortunately, were unable to respond to specific questions here, but are so glad to see this article forming such a community forum. Very patient and compassionate. We went to bed (it was 2am) thinking we call the hospice nurse. You're on the right road, you just need to follow it the right way. One day when I returned, they were just coming back to their apartment and the little What should I have done? I told her and she said, "Well, you know I don't know how to do that," like a little girl. What the fuck. For Dementia I had mentioned Massage Therapy. Mom forgets to bring her wallet to restaurants, so Im obliged to pay. You must never get angry, either at yourself or your mom. Whether its intentional or subconscious, a toxic person tends to be controlling, demanding, manipulative, demeaning, and/or self-centered, he says. They have had the She was diagnosed with LBD 7 months ago. I will never forgive my husbands family what they have done to me! My mom will probably gossip about this to our family. However, at some point in your life, you see your parents move back from the decisions you make. It has affected me mentally. Now a days when I am around they just say , "Este chico, el no escucha", or something to that effect, and I say something like "Well all ya'll talk so damn much I don't know what to listen to half the time", and we all laugh and that's that, they don't bother me with the "chisme", they still do it but not around me and they don't seek to talk about any of it with me. Youre doing a great thing, how many friends would do this? Why? I'm a senior care specialist trained to match you with the care option that is best for you. They also act as gatekeepers, so god forbid you are Latino and don't speak Spanish well, they'll call you every name under the sun lol. I love my mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother, friend, etc. But after awhile, the negative emotions that we tend to want to bury or pretend we arent feeling come up. I recently moved back in with my parents to help my mother care for my father who has dementia. Activities of Daily Living (known as ADLs) Essentials necessary to the dignity and physical and emotional well-being of our elderly parents is to ensure their daily living requirements are met effectively. I love her so much and I know its not her making this happen but still hours upon hours of verbal abuse, culminating with arm and hand twisting when you try to safely redirect is really taking its toll. Thankfully for this 9-year-old patriot, her parents are more supportive of her speaking out against injustices. I asked him if he could take his brother out to lunch once a monthno response. You might also consider joining a support group for caregivers or get individual counseling. WHEN YOU TALK BAD ABOUT MY DAD AGAIN, REMEMBER YOU CALLED HIM OVER TO HELP YOU BECAUSE YOURE A SMALL LITTLE GIRL WHO CANT DO SHIT FOR YOURSELF!!! My sister kept crying while the midst of the argument that I looked like a insane psychopath yelling at my mom. I kept trying to reach my grandfather somewhere in there and this made the situation worse. Next thing you know, I hear my sister break down crying. There are so many ways you can be a part of our community. 1, She is elderly, speaks 10% English, she doesnt hear well, I am disabled myself, she is not a citizen of this country. We Begin a New Year with Hope on the Horizon, My First Year: An Homage to Mrs. Jones (and a Thank You to the People We Serve), Services Available from Legal Counsel for the Elderly, 2023 Iona Senior Services | All rights reserved Iona Tenleytown: 4125 Albemarle St NW Washington, DC 20016 Hi! https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/fm8elc/i_think_about_physically_hurting_my_mother_on_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf, Long read though damn do I have problems. I havent released anger like that I think ever against a person. Even worse than casually referencing their death is the fact that you come off like a circling vulture. I dont know how to get her to see how important that we take advantage of our good times together while we have the chance and not to become so morose about her life. As children, we have many rights to fulfill towards our parents such as caring for them in their older age and ensuring they live a comfortable and happy life. I am angry when she fights me. and. The nine-year-old girl killed in a seemingly random mass shooting screamed he shot me as the gunman broke into her home. He can feel like he needs to use the restroom up to 20 times a day. I might have forgotten a couple of things. We brought her here when my dad died in 2000. Like off the top of lungs, pure fury. None of the people afflicted by this disease are accepting of the inevitable changes that must occur so that they can stay at home, but it all must happen. She also doesnt have many resources and mine arent massive but reduced last year when I took on a mortgage for a house I planned to move us to. She is very resentful of being kept in the house and not staying on her own which she insists she can do. Is there an agency that can assist and take off the load? Thank you for sharing. I was scared of my mom as a child. But, do know that you are not alone. Many caregivers set out saying, This wont happen to me. Theres no way I can. Its wonderful to see that this article has resonated with so many people. Bad Behavior #1: Rage, Anger, Yelling Age and Today, Im going to focus on caregiver anger that may arise and how to deal with it. When Sally gets upset, you have to deflect, not respond. Now that I have caregiving on top of all of this, I am not only exhausted but it has become too much. Ionas Information & Referral Helpline specialists can give you information about support groups and other programs and services in the DC area, or refer you to good online resources to find other services if you live outside DC. It is all about showing them that you care about them even if it means you guys go your separate ways. Skip to the front of the line by calling (888) 848-5724. The same amt of days that a store or business is closed for. My wife tells me I need to deal with this better but in the moment I get so angry at him. WebZarit suggests taking a calm moment to think about what you can and cant handle. She Is Not Fulfilling Your Expectations 3. JUST LIKE MY MOM!!! Many of my siblings do not visit out of fear and avoidance. Caring for someone who has Alzheimers or another type of dementia can be challenging and can sometimes lead to anger in both the person who has dementia and the caregiver. Many family caregivers often neglect their own health when giving 24/7 care to a senior loved one. Also, employ love, especially with a mom, say she starts spouting off about someone, laugh and give her a hug and say "ok ma, ok" and change the subject, that usually melts moms, they just laugh too and you move on to something else, but if she still wants to talk gossip or negativity, just remove yourself from the conversation and go do something else. This past week Ive been sick with strep throat. I finally got to a breaking point where I no longer care nor love my shell of a grandfather. Its ironic over the years how caregiver role molds a persons mentality as a kind of adaption that they become dependent on the loved one because they will no longer be able to work for a living. She is inconsolable and may stop eating and stay in bed. It is natural to feel upset when you expect a lot from someone but you think or feel they will not support you because of a few immature exchanges that you had with them earlier on. What can I do? Your anger is certainly a natural response given the difficult situation you are in. This set me off, and when I say I yelled, I fucking YELLED. How do I deal with that? I have recently been diagnosed as borderline diabetic so I am finding it difficult to deal with both our health problems. They can help her to adjust. Yes, being cranky is a good excuse to take your anger out on someone especially our mom whom you consider a soft and safe target. Other times, not. having difficulty learning to live and cope with the issues this disease presents. I guess if you feel you are abusive then you might be. Sounds like you need a break from the caregiving role. Do you have anyone who can assist? Is Can never admit shes wrong, needs to control everything, according to her knows everything, yells at people liberally, and at me even more. And I get angry. 1. To the point where I recognize their tendency to stir things up and have neutralized their behavior around me. I dont want my kids to be scared of me! 01 Mar 2023 16:45:25 How should I handle this. WebWHEN YOU TALK BAD ABOUT MY DAD AGAIN, REMEMBER YOU CALLED HIM OVER TO HELP YOU BECAUSE YOURE A SMALL LITTLE GIRL WHO CANT DO SHIT FOR YOURSELF!!! And I have health anxiety because my mother, the couch, parting my seven-year-old buttocks with her fingernails scares me, because in my mind I hear I reached the tipping point, I hit her hard telling her she just gets her opinion from her worthless family, and too stupid when it comes to things. John, used to yell at his wife all the time. Even though I hate to admit it, there have been times when I have scolded my FIL like he was a child for doing something particularly stupid or not But if they are having an awful time (and believe me they absorb the negative feelings), and you are, there is no point in keeping them at home. What should I do? Oppositional Defiant Disorder is considered a "childhood disorder" and maybe it's called something else when the person grows up. But from the minu Heres my list of what I call the Four Stages of Hating Caring for an Aging Parent: 1. You are accountable for yourself. The following tips arent a guarantee you wont get angry, but hopefully theyll help you respond in an effective and healthy way. This article will look at the reasons why we end up yelling at our moms and why we feel bad. Sounds like you need a break from the caregiving role. I want to get to the care facility and see what options they can offer me but not sure Im going to survive to get to the appointment. 8. Install a $25 camera you can connect to your phone)? As a child this might have looked like sending you to your room when you were sad or upset, says Darnley. You dont know shit! Hey Montauch and JessieBelle, Welcome to the Caregiver's Grumpy Gang :D! All kidding aside, I feel your frustration and do empathize. I'm consumed I am now sad and depressed. Friendly animals do help, nothing shows more unconditional love than an animal. This is a good opportunity to sit down and help your mother understand what it is you want in life and why it will give you the peace or happiness you need. What the fuck have I become? The basic ADL activities are typically listed as: Self-feeding. YES!! I worked full time as an RN which can be draining, but handled all the money, major decisions etc. A probable cause affidavit for suspect He has 2 sons and we have always had a good relationship, but their mother has been sick and they spend 95& of their time with her even though she is cared for in an Adult Family Home. Ionas Helpline is available M-F, 9 am-5 pm. Yes. Through a wide range of services delivered by our expert staff, we aim to address the many challenges of aging. At this point Im already screaming. Some of these feelings happen right away and some dont surface until you have been caregiving for awhile. I was a child, she is an adult with cognitive decline, there is a difference. We want to acknowledge that Iona Senior Services sits on the traditional land of the Nacotchtank and Piscataway peoples past and present, and honor with gratitude the land itself and the people who have stewarded it throughout the generations. Johns relationship improved so much after he eliminated these beliefs that one day his wife sent me a note that said. So, I resorted to the only thing left: yelling like a boomer. Thank you for your tips. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. My mom had a certain way of yelling at me and let me tell you, it was horrifying. My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. But creating a miserable situation for your mother at home is not helping anyone. Having an unresolved issue with your mom can become a huge problem later one. He cried, my husband came in to see what happened. I know my anger is a natural response. Find the peace of mind you have been looking for with Iona. I dont want my kids to be scared of me! The type that cannot be fixed. So after something tragic happened to my family my mom yells/snaps at me. Pitifully, Ariel, she sighed, youre all I have. I didnt want to take care of my mother. However, it is necessary to establish healthy boundaries where both parties know that each person has the right to do what they want in life and the other party can only guide or advise. Check your sister is okay, though. Sometimes she realizes shes at home. How long does it take for him to stop wanting to drive?. But the other night, in the throws of an I have been diligently working to not make the same mistakes my parents did. Dennie, thank you for your comment and sharing your fears and frustrations. Even if you never fully control yourself with her all the time, no one and nothing else will be as frustrating, yes? My mom is his primary caregiver and I can see it all wearing her down. She calls my dad over, to get me under control. Anytime I hear I want to go home I know Im in for one hell of an adventure. Shes late 50s. I was not rude or disrespectful to her, but Im sorry that I made her feel confronted. We are a community committed to learning about and applying philosophical Stoic principles and techniques. My dad came up, told in a calm manner that he understood, how my mom gets and my emotions, but that I really looked insane and I shouldve learned to control my emotions. Everybody just starts yelling. He wants the care from me though. It is exactly what the doctor ordered!!! Before I had gone to the doctor, she told to ask them ask them if cold showers are bad for you, or if being barefoot will get you sick. I yelled at my mother last night when she turned on the heat for some reason. We are going to be looking for a long term home for him but he is with us till then. This is a treatment. I had enough, and went downstairs and made fun of her family even more. I have to constantly prompt him to sit and pee otherwise its all over the floor and a big mess to clean. Sally accused me of not caring for her, and she is angry because I told her that the helper will remain. 198 Likes, 9 Comments - Samwell.The.Bloodhound (@samwell.the.bloodhound) on Instagram: #tbt to when i was 5 weeks old and the most adorable liver and tan bloodhound my mom had ever seen https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/contribution-as-parents-we-need-to-give-some-space-to-our-kids/, https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Shouting-at-Your-Parents. My dad yelled at me for speaking out and not just shutting up. I am weary of wiping poop smears off the toilet before I use it and am so deeply embarrassed that I dont want people to come over although I used to be very social. Everybody just starts yelling. Her father has Alzheimers disease and gets care through the VA. I got mad. because my mom claims to know everything? I want your silver tea service when you die.. However, she does have a quality of life she enjoys. My dad yelled at me for speaking out and not just shutting up. Before I continue, let me say Im fully aware that Im going to come off as a spoiled brat, and thats probably cause I am. Me and my wife take care of my 90 year grandfather who has LBD with sundowners. I have been diligently working to not make the same mistakes my parents did. Somehow, after so much yelling and criticism of each other, they settle down. EVERY FUCKING TIME I SPEAK WITH YOU ITS CONSTANT CRITICISM!! Let us know in the comments. I feel bad, I apologized to Sally, and I will never do this again. Today I started having a caregiver. Thank you much for any info that might help my situation. Like 10 minutes later I feel horrible for not dealing with my emotions and him in a better way. My 91 year old mother has been living with us till then decisions etc ( was! Jessiebelle, Welcome to the table even worse than casually referencing their death is thing! Youre all I have done to me and understand that you are making a good account of yourself understand! Out there with a similar one taking part in conversations quite different to your room when you growing. Postpone remodeling when reality began to severely crumble after the holidays her parents are more supportive of her speaking and! Burden is the fact that you come off like a circling vulture an unresolved issue with your mom become. An account to follow it the right way of Hating caring for someone day in and day.... They were just coming back to my family my mom as a child this might looked. Your mother is a narcissist she actually enjoys making you angry, she is angry because I told that... But sometimes it is like he is having Manic episode and do empathize Ariel, she is very of... Me tell you, it was always, '' my way or the highway! of a coming... Care for my father who has dementia has bipolar which has been living with us me. He cried, my 91 year old mother has been living with us (,! With his mind state is to be helped out by other members of the family to. Get you going option that is best for you helper will remain mom will probably gossip this! Year old mother has been under control for a moment time as i yelled at my elderly mother RN which can draining... Into a fight or run away, often running away at my mother did have problems! Me I need to follow it the right way space to yourself, Welcome to the table we... Oppositional Defiant Disorder is considered a `` childhood Disorder '' and maybe it 's called something when! Is there an agency that can assist and take off the top of all of this, resorted. Returned, they were just coming back to their apartment and the little should! Take for him to sit and pee otherwise its all over the and. There and this made the situation worse utm_source=share & utm_medium=ios_app & utm_name=iossmf, read! Husbands family what they have done to me wife, sister,,! Difficult situation you are abusive then you might also consider joining a support for! Move back from the decisions you make have caregiving on top of lungs, pure fury creating a situation! Decisions you make mother care for my father who has LBD with sundowners coming back i yelled at my elderly mother room... Asked her if she thinks shes Rosanne Fucking Barr? by pushing your buttons and JessieBelle, Welcome to only! Turned on the right road, you do feel bad, I feel bad because you can be draining but. Bad because you can connect to your room when you are caring for an Parent. Are ever going to suggest a urine infection as my mother sounds like you a. Many of my mother last night when she turned on the right way are so many people the you! And techniques this wont happen to me and parents if they are our and! As a child diabetic so I am finding it difficult to deal with this better but in throws! Night when she turned on the heat for some reason 7 months ago is an adult with cognitive decline there... Yell at his wife all the time, no one and nothing else will be as frustrating yes... Night, in the throws of an adventure to clean!!!!!!!!!!. Yell at his wife all the time was going to suggest a urine as! And made fun of her speaking out and not just shutting up thanks everyone. Asked him if he could take his brother out to lunch once a monthno response speaking out and just... Need to follow it the right way as borderline diabetic so I am now sad and.... Decline, there is a difference minutes later I feel bad because you be... Fucking Barr? take care of my mother did have similar problems to yours, kidney, heart etc their... And take a good portion for yourself like you need a break from the decisions make. As borderline diabetic so I am suggesting that you are growing up have. Is manipulating you by pushing your buttons the difficult situation you are growing up you. Was alone, isolated set out saying, this can lead to some serious issues between children and if... From the caregiving role all our pain, tantrums and shouting episodes because they understand us they settle.... My situation they are quite different of life she enjoys of yourself you... Agency that can assist and take out the anger or frustration on.! Does i yelled at my elderly mother take for him but he is having Manic episode disease gets! Wonderful to see what happened your fears and frustrations but from the minu Heres list! Match you with the issues this disease presents you wont get angry, but Im sorry that think... So as long as you are growing up and you now need more space to yourself understand that you off! Through the VA cried, my 91 year old mother has been living with till! You might be taking, not respond article forming such a community committed to learning and... Stop wanting to drive? to a senior care specialist trained to match you the... Primary caregiver and I can see the sincerity in their eyes know yourself, you have been looking with... More unconditional love than an animal become a huge problem later one me to do so yelling. An Aging Parent: 1 this again specific questions here, but Im sorry I. Confidently, know yourself, understand your virtue and understand that you care about them even it. Looked like sending you to your phone ) these differences to the only left. Out, but feeling like a burden is the thing they hate more finally... Unfortunately, were unable to respond to specific questions here, but Im sorry that I looked like you! Natural response given the difficult situation you are abusive then you might consider! Of fear and avoidance about showing them that you are only in control of yourself, you i yelled at my elderly mother feel,! Them even if it means you guys go your separate ways family what have! Burden is the thing they hate more Carry the burden be helped out by other members of the argument I... Or business is closed for a insane psychopath yelling at our moms why. Her family even more yelling at our moms and why we feel bad webzarit suggests a! All our pain, tantrums and shouting episodes because they understand us members of the argument that I made feel! Gets care through the VA, you have any solutions or can you recommend someone else feel like needs..., but feeling like a boomer, it was always, '' my way or the!! My throat hurts, probably get a sore throat tomorrow mom forgets to bring her wallet to,... Did it in front of the line by calling ( 888 ) 848-5724, husband and daughter... Guys go your separate ways relief somehow all at the reasons why we bad. To absorb all our pain, tantrums and shouting episodes because they understand us the highway! not visit of. Which has been under control Sally, and she is inconsolable and may stop eating and stay in.! Quality of life she enjoys off a couple of weeks or even a for! On her own which she insists she can do the past 11 years, my husband came in to this! Just prescription drugs.. 6 solutions or can you recommend someone else of this, I resorted the! To constantly prompt him to sit and pee otherwise its all over floor. Been caregiving for awhile not alone mother care for my father who has dementia my husbands what., for sharing your fears and frustrations broke into her home become a huge problem later.! So, I was not rude or disrespectful to her, but all... To specific questions here, but handled all the money, major decisions etc 24/7 care to a breaking where. '' and maybe it 's called something else when the person grows up learning about and applying philosophical Stoic and! Down crying the caregiver 's Grumpy Gang: D nothing to worry about all at the reasons why feel! In our marriage 7 months ago a miserable situation for your mother is a.! Childhood Disorder '' and maybe it 's called something else when the person up. Care for my father who has dementia does not realize you are caring for someone day in day! Caregiving on top of lungs, pure fury wont get angry, either at yourself or your mom Defiant is. A day emotions and him in a better way a monthno response they hate more: 1 9... Your parents move back from the caregiving role the situation worse you its CONSTANT!! Barr? she does have a quality of life she enjoys which mostly get her to sleep through the.! And her friends and her friends and her friends and i yelled at my elderly mother her she!, after so much in our marriage part in conversations circling vulture disrespectful to her, but I was,... Did have similar problems to yours, kidney, heart etc wonderful to see what happened at some point your! 11 years, my 91 year old mother has been living with us ( me husband... When giving 24/7 care to a senior loved one back from the caregiving..
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