"If this kind of support is missing in a relationship, trust will be compromised and the person slighted will feel alone. We have fun together, we share hobbies, we share interests, and we're very similar peoplebut that doesn't make a relationship work on it's own, and between this and his familythe chemistry of this relationship is falling apart. Individual acts dont make a person toxic; toxic describes someone who feels comfortable in those acts and energized by those acts and who makes those acts the common approach to their relationships, writes Gary Thomas in When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. I remember several occassions in which I was unwantedly fondled in a club, and to which my boyfriend later replied; Ah just ignore em. He seemed to be quite careless with anything, whether it be a younger guy that tried dragging me away from a club, a salesman in Greece that grabbed my breasts or his own father, that kept jokingly slapping my behind, after which he whispered that he liked my hair. You may be thinking ohh her situation is different and their not all the same. Like tattle telling on me. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. I have to say though, he does a good job of getting you to make all the effort. Started November 20, 2022, By I told him about this in a sort of, "This is really annoying me at the moment" sense and said that "it'd be nice to sit down and chat to him tomorrow, since we've both got free time". 237 views, 1 likes, 5 loves, 12 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Harris Funeral Directors: Homegoing Service for Minister Beatrice Lee Wiggins. 7 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Stopped Calling and Texting, Is Your Husband Using Facebook to Cheat on You? Saying things like YOU need to make peace (when i already have, even though I wasnt in the wrong) or things like why didnt YOU say hello to her (when SHE didnt say hello to me either). Told him to stay away from me. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. Maryanne, it sounds like he loves you AND he loves his son and grandkids! But everyone treats me like crap. Ive seen it over and over again the dynamics of these relationships, and they dont end well. His reaction is not to support me, it's to clam up and say nothing, and get upset himself. In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. I would tell him to call you back when he is ready to talk, say goodbye and hang up. The remainder of his family has accepted us as a couple without any issues. I have tried to tell my fiance that i feel offended but he just doesnt listen. Joke aside, I did have exactly the same problem. His family does know but they are disrespectful and imposing and rude to her. So they hate me now. Just try and make it clear from the start that you're asking this strictly so your relationship will work better, not because you want to change his personality or anything(people tend to take that personally Can't imagine why, really. BUT his father and sister dont like me, and my boyfriend doesnt stand up for me. STAY. You both need to make an effort and he doesn't seem to be making any effort. How to Let Go, 5 Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting, Practical Examples of Gary Chapman's Love Languages. I guess as things are for me now, I feel like Im the one who is probably going to have to give up my wishes. However - I'm not one to give up on a relationship when problems arise, I want to try and sort out this firstbecause I know I'm stressed at the moment, and I know the distance is getting to me, and I know that I'm getting annoyed with him more readily than I should. ", If one partner regularly feels alone, it could breed resentment and questions about the future. "If someone can't support you during an external conflict, they probably aren't going to support you in any other areas of your future, such as your career or having a family, Graber adds. Maybe he enjoys your company, even if you fight all the time. Unless theyre willing to sit down and talk about how they treat you, you may never know what is causing their behaviors, words, and attitudes. I explained that if a long distance relationship is going to work, then we need to sort through problems when they come up, and I can't support myself and him at the same time. Sorry for this late response, what has gone with your relationship in the meantime? Good for you. 6 Tips. When you start dating a guy or marry your boyfriend, you step into family and friend patterns that have been going on for as long as theyve been alive. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. This might sound simplistic, but I would stop doing all the heavy lifting and observe whether or not he steps up to the plate on his own. Before you waste anymore of your time RUN! Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. You cant expect people even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. I will give you my advice about what to do when your boyfriend wont stand up for you, and I truly truly hope you take it to heart. 3. In terms of being firm; I try to be at the moment, and I get met with more silence. For your own good girl. But your. What makes you think you cant have a good relationship even though his child doesnt accept you? Be honest with your boyfriend. My boyfriend will not stand up for me and I am trying to decide if he's in the wrong or not. Opioids are a class of drugs that are commonly prescribed for the management of pain. This doesnt mean youre helplessit just means you have stepped into relationship patterns that you cant change. I know it will always haunt me but I dont have a choice, Im as good as married as it is, just the paperwork is all thats missingso Im just venting. For more information, please see our I want to say this .. Ive told him many time how I feel but still his sister treats me like crap. Your level of confidence and self esteem is very apparent in this question from you. Continue with Recommended Cookies, By Otherwise though he is a good boyfriend. Its important to try to see if youre dealing with toxic people, or if theyre simply behaving badly occasionally. Hes always worried about what I do, and not how i am feeling or what theyre doing. The other reason can be that he is uncomfortable with his family/has learned never to question his family and has a difficulty standing up for you, because of that. Adolescent Crushes. His family has land and worth slot so when mother dies there getting tons of money and someone told me probably think im trying to get there money. Required fields are marked *. Well, I'm not sure if advice is what you wanted or whether you just wanted to complain about your bf to people you won't need to comfort because of it but I hope I helped at least a little bit. He's a lovely, generous, friendly guy. The bottom line is everything is easier said then done that should be applied in this case it should be said then done.easy as that, dont tolerate complications from a family member. Be honest with yourself. Hes very supportive in some things ..and has some good traits which is why i lasted so long with himbut he is ONE of the most excruciating COWARDS Ive ever met in my life. How do I know, bad breakup. An optimist, a person who will make you smile during hard times and stand by you. The relationship dynamics can change, but change requires willingness and self-awareness. May you find hope and healing, love and peace in your family. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By Maybe he doesnt. Well, I'm feeling optimistic today. 3. I would really like some help on what to do or how I could talk to him about it appropriately? Can you stand up for me by.. also hes a hypocrite he yells at me for going to a guys house when I lived with him for a year with my family so hes like a brother to me but then I found out during my spring break he was at a girls house drinking and smoking and yelled at me when I went to the guys house bu he went to her house before I went to his and I didnt even know he was there what should I do???? By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Blow off steam with some music. Your man's low self-esteem can manifest in a variety of ways. "We Do Not Own The Rights To Any of The. Where do you see yourself living and dying? One day she will walk, I'm sure. He doesn't make a sound . Well my boyfriend hardly knows this guy and this guy met me once for 5 minutes over three years ago. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. Ive told him several times that it hurts me that we cant do things as a normal couple, he always has to hide the fact that hes with me and it really causes me a lot of pain in the relationship. Dating advice for women and men, plus tips for love relationships. He's so used to his mother dashing around on their little sailboat and him having to adjust to her movements to stay stable. It hurts me so much when I cant be with him or he cant be with me during important times in our lives. But it's amazing how often we jump through psychological hoops of self-justification to. He knows they don't approve of you and he doesn't have the power to stand up for you and himself to his parents. If I were you, Id focus on changing my expectations of him and our relationship. I have every faith that you will meet another man who is emotionally mature and capable of being an actual partner to you. I was not interested in him at all because he smokes marijuana and is a complete looser. That presumably will . It irritates me. I never did anything to her to hate me and i dont know wat to do. At the beginning of our relationship, I identified it as a problem, but I also dismissed it, because I foolishly thought everything was fine, it would work itself out.because I was enjoying our relationship so much. If he doesnt stand up for you now, what will make him stand up for you in the future? You might say something like, I feel unappreciated, worthless, defeated, and worried for our relationship when your sister/mother/friend treats me like that. I had never in my whole life been hurt like that and it was very hurtful and I got to thinking that if he cant stand up at some point in time for me , then he never will. "Although a partner should be honest with you about their reservations in private, they shouldn't express those doubts in public.". Its not a fair religion. Although he talks negatively about me. For awhile it was good a point in our relationship and everything was going good until my birthday came along and we went out to celebrate and we where ordering and he mention that his friends told him that I was using him for money and that ruined it, I got tired of him & his friends. You should stand up for your partner (or wanna-be partner), right? He wont defend me. Davidgrx You can only accomplish these goals by telling your partner. Sometimes, eventually, I'll coax out of him that he never agreed with me on that point, he just did it to make me feel better. Maybe your boyfriends mom is judgmental, his sister cold, or his friends rude. Focus on changing the only person you have control over: you. This has been going on for a few years now, and I fear there may never be a positive resolution. Love is blinding and allows you to make stupid decisions. IM the bad guy even though when we argue about it, he says that i am getting the wrong end of the stick with what hes saying. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Definitions of different types of love, for couples and singles. Then, go and take care of yourself. Either he has no back bone and can only get by on their approval or he just loves the security of his family and culture more than he loves me. He's very cute, he's very thoughtful (for the most part), he can be optimistic and enthusiastic but he's a pushover. IF YOU DO DECIDE TO STAY, youve been warned by their behavior already (red flag), his behavior (major red flag), and greed from his family about whats to come when mummy dies (wtf RED FLAGS). 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